www.InBedwithJoan.com.au - Tell me your Children's Dreams - "Kids" blog

We spend a third of our lives in the vast, unfathomable secret world of sleep.

With the help of science, we are at long last discovering what this world is made of, and what our dreams can do for us!!

We all dream, even if we don’t remember our dreams.  Our most fertile dreaming occurs in REM sleep. We enter REM about 90 minutes after nodding off, and it occurs more frequently and for longer periods as sleep progresses.

We spend two of every 24 hours dreaming, which adds up to more than five years of our lives spent dreaming.

About half of us are lucky to remember one dream a month, says psychologist Rosanne Armitage of the University of Texas.  The rest of us remember as many as four dreams a week.  Researchers agree we tend to remember vivid dreams more easily than boring dreams. Sleep and dream researcher Ernest Hartmann has found that some people have what he calls thin boundaries. Such dreamers are trusting and vulnerable people, they have more nightmares and remember their dreams better than those more orderly and rigid – with thick boundaries.

To remember your dreams more easily, be like The Little Engine That Could and tell yourself that you can.  “Virtually everyone improves with practice”, says Stanford University sleep researcher LaBerge.  Then sleep as long as you can (dream periods get longer and closer together with time).

When you wake up, try not to move until you remember the dream – that helps trick the mind into believing the body is still in REM paralysis.  Fix on a key image to help you remember.  Keep a journal by your bed to write down your dreams.

Avoid alcohol, which reduces REM sleep.

“I was walking down the street with my father, and a tiger was walking next to me on my right, on the street side. The tiger was tough and full of energy, very beautiful. Then he turned at a right angle, crossed the street and disappeared in an old apartment house, and I continued on with my father.

The sidewalk got narrow, very tiny. A big truck came and there was no place to go.
It hit me or almost hit me, I don’t know which.”
This is a growth direction dream where it is clearly the tiger in your dream.

I keep going the way I’ve been, with my father.

When I stay, in relation to my father, my aggression force stops walking with me. Soon it comes ‘at me instead – and runs me over. Maybe I should have stopped walking with my father and gone with the Tiger or, indeed, become the tiger in my dream.That was not just an idea because I could sense the tiger-image in my body, in the dream.

Great beauty, or obviously, healthy, energetic, animals easily give us the life-instinct direction in our dreams. Of course, the form of living it is up to us to develop over a period of time. We won’t act like tigers in every way but we can have the energy and strength from them when making our decisions.
It is then, when faced with obstacles or whatever in our waking life that we can call upon the tiger!

WHO IS IN CHARGE OF YOUR CHILD’S SLEEP PATTERN????

You have to recognise that children these days are very keen to be the Boss of their Sleep!!
• Toddlers should have 12-15 hours, including their daytime naps.
• Three to Five year olds – 11-13 hours, most of this at night.
Remember children’s sleep needs vary. You can tell if your child is getting enough sleep by observing his or her mood and behaviour during the day.

WHAT IF THEY DON’T GET ENOUGH?
Studies show that when poor sleep persists in young children, it can undermine cognitive and emotional development, making it harder for them to manage their feelings. It can also weaken the immune system, increase the chance of unhealthy weight gain and be a precursor to anxiety & depression.
It is vital that parents have workable sleep solutions that do no harm. There are many exhausted parents who need help, but don’t want to use the commonly promoted methods based on controlled crying, because it’s simply too distressing. They tend to ignore a young one’s cries even if it is only for two minutes, which to the mother can be like two hours. “Controlled comforting” is where parents attend to their young child at defined increasing time intervals, such as at two, five and then ten minutes, or until the child settles.
“Camping out” is where the parent sits with a child as he or she learns to fall asleep. Then parents slowly remove themselves from the child’s room. These methods are not recommended for infants less than six months old.

A new study from Murdoch Children’s Research Institute showed that children, who experienced controlled comforting or camping out, were not more likely to have significantly poorer emotional health, sleep or behaviour problems, chronic stress, and poor attachment with parents, depression or anxiety. Changes in parenting styles could be disrupting children’s sleep patterns. Parents are much more flexible than they used to be, so consistent bedtime routines are often missing. Some parents say that they can’t get their toddler to bed until midnight. With more parents in paid work, there’s greater pressure to get the child to sleep- through at six weeks. Some parents keep their infant or child up till 9pm to see dad when he gets home from work. By that time the child is beside itself, but can be up again at the crack of dawn to get to day-care in time.
A lot of sleep problems are caused by parent’s unrealistic expectations of when their child should sleep through and they are trying too hard & trying to do too much.
Persistence and consistency are the two major roles for parents to play when educating their new babies into their sleep patterns – Don’t let the baby be the one who controls the bedroom.

A dog in the grass dream!

An attack by a dog, an animal that is traditionally considered male, also sometimes symbolises fear of intercourse in young women’s dreams – This dream was first noticed when the dreamer was sixteen years old.

‘Our dog Corky attacks me in the yard. I am lying on the grass. His teeth sink into my leg and my clothes get all messed up. I seem to dream this twice. Then in the dream I tell myself “This is a symbol for a sexual attack or intercourse”. The dream continues with a boy I know in a restaurant called Tasty Inn!”     At the time of this I was totally inexperienced in sex although I began to date and even kiss several boys. In fact this dog was aggressive and difficult to handle, he became wildly sexually excited when let loose from where he was chained outside. I was actually rather frightened of him.

Since I had been working with my dreams for a couple of years at the time of this dream, I became semi lucid within it and found myself commenting upon the ongoing action. Once I recognised the source of the fearful feeling as a fear of sex, the dream switched to an appealing boy rather than a wild dog. The Tasty Inn served as a setting for nourishment rather than a fearful encounter.

All attack dreams indicate a feeling of being threatened. Of course, they may refer to nonsexual threats as well as sexual ones. A young woman often unconsciously desires sex because her body is physiologically ready for it, yet at the same time she fears the unknown experience.

Needless to say dreams of dogs are more than often positive as they represent our guardians.

CHILDREN CAN FOLLOW MUCH THE SAME PROCEDURES AS ADULTS FROM KEEPING A DREAM DIARY TO USING A HELPER TO DEAL WITH NIGHTMARES. PARENTS AND OTHER ADULTS CLOSE TO CHILDREN CAN HELP THEM BY FOLLOWING A FEW SIMPLE GUIDELINES:

1.

INVITE CHILDREN TO TELL YOU THEIR DREAMS, AND LISTEN CAREFULLY. CHILDREN LEARN WHAT IS IMPORTANT FROM THE SIGNIFICANT ADULTS IN THEIR LIVES.

2.

 RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO SAY TO CHILDREN THAT THEIR DREAMS ARE ‘SILLY’, INSTEAD REASSURE THEM THAT THEIR DREAMS, AND THEIR FEELINGS ABOUT THEM REALLY DO MATTER.

3.

CONFIDENTIALLY SUGGEST TO CHILDREN THAT THEY CAN INFLUENCE THEIR DREAMS. THIS ABILITY DEPENDS UPON THE CONVICTION THAT IT CAN BE DONE SO TRY NOT TO SOW ANY DOUBTS IN YOUNG MINDS.

4.

TELL CHILDREN YOUR OWN DREAMS. THEY LOVE TO HEAR THEM AND WILL FIND THE EXCHANGE OF DREAMS OVER THE BREAKFAST TABLE BOTH FASCINATING AND CONSTRUCTIVE.

5.

NEVER SAY THAT A NIGHTMARE WAS “ONLY A DREAM’’ IT IS A COMFORTING PHRASE, BUT IT TRIVIALISES THE EXPERIENCE. LISTEN CAREFULLY TO THE CHILD’S FEARS, COMFORT HIM OR HER GENTLY AND THEN EXPLAIN THAT THE TERRIFYING CREATURES WE MEET IN OUR DREAMS DON’T REALLY MEAN TO FRIGHTEN US.

6.

DON’T TRY TOO HARD TO INTERPRET CHILDREN’S DREAMS ONLY WELCOME THEM.

Childhood is a time of great change. These changes often give rise to fear and anxiety, which manifest in various ways in children’s dreams.

Monsters, strangers and other terrifying creatures or events embody these concerns. Liked to the issue of childhood anxiety is the issue of childhood anger and aggression.

 There is one very powerful influence that actively works against the developmental resolution of childhood fear and anxiety, anger and aggression, however – the television, the omnipresent audio-visual late twentieth- century object.

Unfortunately, many television programmes promote free-floating anxiety and celebrate the visual impact of violence. For children, television monsters are truly monstrous: the Strangers in television maim, kill and kidnap: and television Witches are horribly ugly and evil.

 Parents should be aware of the effects of television on their children. Some television programmes are instructive and imaginative, and should be encouraged. But there is so much on television that promotes violence, aggression and unrealistic expectations, and many of these find their way into children’s dreams.

I have piles and piles of letters from children where nightmare images are derived from television programmes.

Water Dreaming

The dreaming heritage of Australian aboriginals forms the foundation of aboriginal mythology. You may have seen this contemporary painting “Possum/Water Dreaming” which represents an ancient legend in a form that resembles a Tibetan mandala.

In the West, we tend to believe that ‘reality’ can be defined solely in terms of empirical fact, but many other cultures have an open-minded approach.

While fully aware of the differences between dreams and waking life, they see both types of experience as equally real, valid and believe that dreams have the power to change lives.

The aboriginals of Western Australia have an entire musical repertoire extracted from dreams. In the morning, dreamers sing to the rest of the community new songs that they have dreamed and by joining in the singing, each member of the tribe deepens his or her dream experience.

In many cultures, dreams are seen as ways to channel power from the spirit world, harmonizing inner conflicts and renewing hope, confidence and vitality. Anyone who does not dream regularly is considered to be cut off from the sacred power of dreams.
Their many beliefs in the power of dreams reflect the real benefits that dreams can bring the dreamer. We, in the modern world tend to rationalise dreams as being merely physiological events or physiological aberrations.
Well we can learn so much from the many cultures of dreaming throughout the world – this does not mean that we should deny the findings of science – if we are to learn from our dreams, we need to combine elements of old wisdom and new understanding.

THE VAMPIRES

1.  RECORD YOUR DREAM:

A large organisation of vampires from around the country wanted to kill me. I didn’t know reason why. I was in a car with a girl that I knew in the dream (but not in real life) and her grandmother. The girl was not a vampire but her grandmother was and wanted to kill me. I had the girl stop the car and I got out saying I was going to a house which I claimed was where I lived. But this was a trick to convince her grandmother to go to the wrong house when she came to kill me.
I went into the house and the owner let me in. As soon as the girl and her grandmother had driven away, I left and went down the block to another house, which I entered. However, the couple that lived there were vampires and I left again. They did not come after me. Then went down the street again and into a house where four males were playing music as they had a rock band. I felt protected with them and spent time feeling happy and safe.

2.  EXAMINE YOUR DREAM:

ü  Vampires;

ü  Girl;

ü  Grandmother;

ü  Car;

ü  Houses;

ü  Couple;

ü  Four males;

ü  Being searched for and threatened;

ü  Unable to find a safe place.

3.  NOTE YOUR FEELINGS:

v  Feeling threatened

v  Feeling unsafe;

v  Not knowing where the vampires would find me;

v  Having to trick them;

v  Searching for a place to hide;

v  Feeling safe in the end.

4.  NOTE PREVIOUS DAY’S EVENTS:

• Had another argument with my family over simply nothing;
• They don’t believe I can do anything without asking for their approval;
• I had a coffee with my best friend and her friend asked me if I wanted to flat with her.

 5.   SYNOPSIS:

• Was offered a home away from home today;
• I felt sucked dry of energies by my family (I think this was the grandmother figure in the dream).
• I think the girl was a part of me, the car my ride through life.
• I had to get out of the car because it was not safe – Time to move in a different way in life. My distrust of people’s motives and what they want from me comes out.
• Sometimes I ‘trick’ people by changing the topic or by my avoidance to stop them focusing on my real feelings. 
• I feel more comfortable with men than women, particularly in the family.
• I feel safe with creative men.

Children sometimes dream of receiving things that they want. These wish-fulfilment dreams can reach heights of absurd fantasy, but mostly they are simple things – clothes, a new game, a pet, delicious food – that the child values and desires. This can be a difficult dream for parents, who want to give children the things that make them happy, but often do not feel that the gift is possible or even wise. You may want to discuss your reasons with your child, and perhaps come to a compromise. In the end, these dreams are pleasant ones, and much should be made of that. You could point out that, like bad dreams, good dreams don’t necessarily come true!

DREAM:
I dreamt I was wearing a long, white lacy silk dress. My hair was down to my waist. I was slim. I walked up the stairs like I was in a trance. At either side of the stairs were turrets like those of an old castle. When I got to the top there was nowhere else to go. I looked back and the wind blew my hair about. I awoke peaceful and also amazed for I am overweight, not slim. LEANNE – 11yrs old.

This is a wish-fulfilment dream from a girl on the verge of puberty. She is a princess in the dream, going upstairs in a castle, and at the top, there is nothing else to attain. The image is of fairytale and myth.

It seems the dreamer may need to keep the lovely, peaceful aspect of this image in the front of her mind. She obviously wishes to lose weight, and this is a positive dream showing her that this is possible. However, her parents should caution her that in the real world, slimness is not the most important quality for a young woman.

Prince William’s 21st Birthday

Well how wonderful it is to know that now Prince William has his own little baby Prince George!

How proud his mother, Diana, would have been and I am sure she looks down on them and smiles with complete love and joy!
Rosie Fisher and Adam Dale comments from Larry King’s “The People’s Princess”…..

Rosie Fisher, founder and owner of Dragons of Walton Street, which is a successful children’s furniture store in London, which was frequented by Diana during William and Harry’s early years.

Dragons of Walton Street, London, were lucky enough to receive an order for our then tiny Prince William’s nursery. How exciting!

What an honour. I was longing to shout it from the rooftops, but I was sworn to secrecy. Discretion was vital. The design we were to paint on the furniture was very appropriate as it depicted Prince Charles and Princess Diana’s most loved hobbies. The design to this day is still a secret!

My best artist, lovingly hand painted the items with extra-special care. A labour of love for our future king! It looked perfectly gorgeous, and I hoped that little William would enjoy the pieces. Later, Princess Diana became a regular visitor to my showroom.

Always arriving unannounced and behaving in the most natural of ways, she would leave her private detective in the car. One October, she came in clutching a big book full of the names and ages of her friends’ children, godchildren, nieces and nephews to buy their Christmas goodies. We would duly paint the presents and deliver them to Kensington Palace. Once she came into Dragons to talk about having chairs decorated for one of her godchildren and while we were wrapping various other gifts she had chosen, she sat and chatted with us, confessing that one day she would love to have a little girl. I feel so sad that was never to be.

DIANA by Adam Dale
Beguiled by her innocence
Intrigued by her mystery
Bathed in her sunlight
Smiled at her triumphs
Cried at her anguish
Buoyed by her hope
Humbled by her greatness
Moved by her honesty
Heartened by her courage
Enveloped by her life
Dazzled by her beauty
Embraced by her love
Haunted by her tragedy
Emptied by her absence

SONIA GHANDI ….comments from Larry King’s “The People’s Princess”…..

In India, the abiding memory of Princess Diana is of her genuine compassion and empathy for the marginalised. Princess Diana’s interactions with the underprivileged – be they slum children, Aids victims, the physically or mentality challenged, or people on their deathbed – were always warm, direct and human. She approached them unflinchingly, with love and humiliation, wanting to share their burden and deepen her own understanding of their deprivation and pain.

We remember Princess Diana too, for her radiant beauty and grace, her vibrant natural charm, and the enthusiasm with which she embraced new experiences and encounters. These qualities enabled her to strike up and easy rapport with people from all cultures ad walks of life and left an indelible impression on those whose paths crossed hers even briefly.

THE DUKE & DUCHESS OF CAMBRIDGE now begin their journey with their darling baby boy and I feel so happy that Prince William had such a wonderful upbringing that he and his gorgeous Kate will continue Diana’s love of family and happiness.

Whose knows what fantastic stories we will hear over the years as Prince George makes his mark on the Royal Family!